5/16/2008 08:16:00 AM

when there's no 1 to tok to or complain to my dear blog is always arnd... haha listening to my complains n unhappiness...

so more updates means i'm more unhappy? probably so... since my life is boring now....

i'm once again unemployed... my last interview failed... so now no more interviews coming up... no more job offer... shuckz... i needa go find a job... any1 can help me look out for job openings? will greatly appreciate it... i can start work like now? hahaha...

so my life revolves arnd mapling... mapling like 14 hrs a day.... got nothing else to do... but this wk was considered quite good... watch 3 movies.... hahaha.. satisfying... of coz money was gone but well time spent... anybody too free anytime can look for me... i'm 90% free... hee...

relationships to me has always been easy to let go... i realli cant understand y its so difficult to let go this time... acting like i'm happy juz makes me feel worse when i'm alone... coz i noe i'm not happy yet i haf to fake it... i hate to fake... it juz sux.... i think i'm so lost in love.... to the extend dat small little things like a simple sms can make me feel so happy n some jokes makes me feel so sad... now i realli understand y some gers juz stuck wif some guys dat r super jerks... i'm in the same case as them... i so feel dat he's a jerk... but i juz cant let go... kept telling myself it will hurt even more next time but i'm still holding on... sometimes its like wat he says will make me feel so hopeful again... but i haf to keep myself down... i cannot reach the peak again n fall down again... so i can onli make myself stay halfway at the hill... but issit possible?? so many times i'm flying up.. n den i hit myself back... haiz... i realli dunno is this right... but dat seems like the choice dat i'm happier? i dun even noe if i'm happier or not... but i will juz stay this way... till i find a better 1....

5/15/2008 06:08:00 AM

trying again.... dats wats gonna happen...

giving him more time n space.... to me it juz means letting him do wat he wans... i can do dat.. was initially happy... coz i fought for my happiness... n there mite be a chance... but i dun feel happy.... do i??

i'm beginning to question myself... do i realli wan it??? the answer is clear to myself... i noe clearly wat i wan.... i noe i am not happy but y am i still clinging on? issit so dat i can slowly let go instead of falling so fast? or issit i realli cant let go? there's so many questions i'm asking myself.. so many questions dat r still left unanswered.... there's onli 1 thing i'm very sure...

i've lost myself... the old daphne dat everyone once know is gone......

5/13/2008 05:43:00 AM

new blog skin = a whole new me? i wish it will juz be dat simple... taking away the old 1 n replacing it wif a whole new 1... archives remained as memories of my life... but issit realli dat easy?

devastated... is how i am currently feeling... feel like toking to someone but everyone seems so busy... i dunno how to cope wif my life now... i dunno wat i shld be doing....

wait... its juz like waiting for death to come...
not to wait... means ending my own life....

y issit dat whenever i wan something so badly i can never haf it... yet when i dun wan it... it juz follows me around...
i realli wanted this... but i noe its never gonna happen..... 4 yrs... n dats the end......

my heart is crushed... i will never be alive again.....

5/12/2008 09:58:00 AM

been down on my luck since dunno when... everything hasnt been going smoothly for me... arrggghhh
so pissed off wif life....
watever watever watever

i'm freaking unemployed yet i'm not looking for a job... coz i dun wanna work...

sux sux sux....

no job no grad trip no money no enjoyment no life....

everything juz sux...

worse of all.... i've juz been critically 'hit' by some1 dat i've tot was so impt...